Perhaps you’ve smelled a trace of perfume on him, and it isn’t the brand you wear. Maybe he’s staying out late, or spending more time away from you, and his reasons just don’t seem believable.

You’re starting to think he might be cheating. But you don’t want to accuse him without any proof, because you know he would just deny it and accuse YOU of being paranoid and jealous. So, is it possible for you to “question” him in a way that doesn’t put him on the defensive? Can you get a man to REVEAL his infidelities, without pressuring him for a confession?

Sure you can. There are always signs of cheating men you can use to “trap” him. As a woman, you know that men aren’t the greatest liars. When men cheat, they’ll always come up with “cover stories” to conceal their lies — but they usually don’t think these stories through. With some gentle prodding, you can usually tell whether a man is telling you the truth, or trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

Here are some signs of cheating men you may not be aware of, and ways that you can make a man reveal his cheating — without confronting him or trying to force him to confess:

1. When you detect perfume on him, tell him that he smells great. Sniff his neck. Watch how he reacts — does he pull away, or does he calmly give you a logical explanation? (Such as, he’s trying a new cologne.) If he sounds natural when he answers — NOT nervous — he may be telling the truth. Ask him the name of the brand. (Remember, don’t act like you’re suspicious; sound like you really do love the scent.) Does he remain calm and give you a believable answer? Your woman’s intuition should tell you whether he’s behaving normally, or trying to cover something up.

2. If he has been working later hours than usual, bring up the topic of work during a casual conversation. Tell him about something that has been going on at your work, and then ask him how his work has been going lately. If he tells you how “busy” or “crazy” it has been, ask him to tell you about it. What does this extra work entail? Is there anything you can do to help him relax? Is he going to receive any extra compensation for his extra hours? (This would then be reflected on his next paycheck.)

If he is able to give specifics about his extra work duties, he might be telling the truth. If he is vague, and tries to change the subject, then you have the right to be suspicious. The important thing is that when you bring up the topic, you should sound caring and supportive. Never give the indication that you’re tyring to “pry” and find out what he’s really been up to.

3. Here’s a tip my friend Amanda told me. She suspected her boyfriend was cheating with a woman he worked with. So, Amanda rented the famous thriller “Fatal Attraction” and played the DVD the next time they were at home having a “movie night.” In this movie, the actor Michael Douglas plays a guy who cheats on his wife. The woman he cheats with turns out to be a psycho, and she wreaks havoc on his life. This movie will make a cheating man VERY nervous! Chances are, you’ll actually see him fidget and display other nervous body language. He may realize that you’re “onto” him, and confess after the movie. Or afterwards, you can engage him in a conversation about cheating, and all the terrible things that can result from cheating. Don’t let him know about your suspicions. Just watch and listen. It should be pretty obvious to you whether he’s comfortable with this conversation, or “on edge” and trying to hide something.

4. If your man fails any of the above “tests,” and you now strongly suspect that he is cheating — but he hasn’t confessed — then here’s a powerful tactic you can use. Tell him, “I know the truth, I know what’s going on, and I’m going to give you 24 hours to come clean and be honest with me.” Then, leave the room. Do not engage him in conversation or give any further explanation. A lot of cheating men, when faced with this, wind up making some type of confession.

Remember, you shouldn’t accuse your man until you’ve got more than “suspicions.” Falsely accusing him of cheating, and being wrong, can be just as damaging to a relationship as an actual affair. Try one of the above techniques, or a combination of them. Unless he’s an exceptionally slick liar (most guys aren’t), chances are he will confirm your suspicions if he is, in fact, cheating.

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